We are worth more than a cheat!

I have received a few comments regarding, women who go back to men who cheat. The comments all make sense. One woman said that she just wasn't ready to leave the man. Now I can understand that. You do need to be ready, both mentally and emotionally but it has to be done. No one really wants to stay with a cheat. It only destroys your inner soul, it makes you feel worthless and your not. No woman is worthless, its how we are made to feel. If we don't know any better then we will just continue to do the things we are used to doing. Habits, that's what they are and that's all they are. Habits can be changed. As with anything in life we have to want to change.

If a man cheats on you the once and you want to give him the benefit of the doubt, I can understand that. Although I'm not too sure how my reaction would be if it happened to me. If you are in a relationship where the man is a continuous cheat then you really need to question your relationship. Why are you still with him? Ask yourself that question and be honest. Is it fear of being alone? Fear of being a single parent? Do you believe that's the best you can do? Do you love him more than you love yourself?

The reason I ask do you love him more than yourself is because many women say they stay because they love him! Yes I can understand love. Is love abusive? no I don't believe it is. It can be but we need to nip it in the bud immediately. No one wants to be in a abusive relationship.

Staying with someone who cheats is a choice its a choice to be abused. That may sound harsh but its the truth. You choose to stay in that relationship, you chose to stay with that partner. The good thing is, you can also choose when to leave. I understand that you need to feel strong within yourself before you can leave. You have to make yourself stronger. No one can do this for you but you. You have to make that decision to move on and move on for good. Find help in other places. Places different from the ones you may have been using in the past. Ie: friends and family. Yes their advice will be good for you as most of them will give you an un bias opinion. Read self help books if you don't already, I believe that's a good place to start. Start somewhere, where you can learn more about who you are. "Act like a woman Think like a man" written by steve Harvey. This is a book which was given as a referral from someone who left a comment. The title says it all!

Stop telling yourself negative things about yourself, its all a lie. The more negative you are about yourself the more you are going to believe it. What do you tell yourself when he cheats? do you say "oh he doesn't love me, I'm not good enough for him, I'm too fat, I'm too ugly" Do you tell yourself things like "I cant raise the children on my own". Think about those things that you say to yourself. The things we tell ourselves, make us behave in that way. If you were to tell yourself, "I'm far too good for this, I'm worth more than this, I know there is better out there for me, a real caring loving man would be happy to have me and my children" If you told yourself the latter, you would act as you think.

We must be careful how we speak to ourselves. We are worth more than a cheat!

Cheats

This is just something random. I may do this from time to time. I want you guys out there to help me. I really would love to get into the minds of others. I am very interested in knowing the truth to this question.

Why do women take men back who have been unfaithful to them?

Now I'm not knocking anyone. As you know from reading my blog, this is my first long term relationship. I am not experienced in being with men who cheat then having them back. When I was around 19 years old, I got caught up in something like that. That's another story. I didn't like the rejection, so I would have taken him back. For how long I'm not sure, as in my heart I knew, I could not be second best.

So I would love to hear your views on why women take back men who cheat and of course visa versa. Why do men take back cheating women? Like I said I am not being judgmental about it. I would like to understand it more. If someone came to me for advice about it, my ultimate advice would be to leave him! Would I be right in advising someone that way. Who am I to say leave him? Would I?

Let me know.

He Never compliments You!

I do hope you found my other solution to, he never takes you out, useful. Like I said and I will keep saying these are my solutions. I do believe if you put some of them into action they will work. What have you got to lose? Unless of course you have reached the end of the road and its time for you both to move away from the relationship. If you are not happy and you have been unhappy for a long time. Is it worth it??

My solution to He never compliments you.

Take a look In the mirror, how do you look? What do you see when you look in the mirror? Are you as beautiful as the day he met you, or have you gained a few pounds. When he met you, did you wear make up, did you go to the hair dressers on a regular basis. When he met you did you find time to do your nails? You would be surprised at the things which we take for granted. The things we think he would be OK with but he is not.

My husband doesn’t allow me to get away with a thing. If my nails need to be redone, he will say, “darling you need to go and do your nails” He says the same about my hair. Even if he sees that I'm putting on a bit of weight, he will mention it. I don’t take it as an insult. He has taken the time to notice that there is something, about me that needs fixing! I'm very lucky to have a husband who takes notice of every part of me.

Don’t get me wrong, we all have our off days and cant be bothered to go over the top with ourselves everyday. Some of you it’s the norm. You don’t take care of yourselves anymore. You let yourselves go. Then you wonder why he has roaming eyes, when you are out in public together!

You don’t look as beautiful, as you did when he first met you. Maybe he used to tell you that you needed to do things to yourself to better your appearance. Instead of taking heed, you took it as an insult and gave him what for. You see, if our men are being honest with us, yes it can hurt, but it can also help. He says to you, “Darling your getting a bit fat” You say. “ what how can you tell me that, that’s not a very nice thing to say to me. Now you have given me a complex, that’s not the sort of thing you tell your woman”. How can he be honest with you if your going to scream at him for being honest? Why not look at yourself and say, you know what, he may be right, my clothes are a bit on the tight side. Just loose a few pounds. I'm not saying, turn into a robot for him. If he is being nasty to you that’s a completely different issue altogether. How often do you compliment him. Do you take notice when he goes to the barbers for example. Do you compliment him when he buys a new outfit and puts it on, or do you just look and lift your eyebrows. Complimenting is all part of a healthy relationship. There are some things which we can not just take for granted. We cant just think, Oh I don’t need to compliment him, he knows he looks nice.

Maybe he has let himself go, therefore you don’t compliment him because you cant. The same rules apply tell him neatly, to fix up!